I had a patient today who apologised atleast 4 times for taking my time, a similar number for boring me with her tales of sorrow and a zillion times for asking so many questions. It made me wonder why one is so scared to discuss with the doctor. I dont know if this is because of the high pedestal people usually put doctor's on and you feel criminal to disturb his valuable space or whether its us doctor's who scare you to death and kill the sacred relationship between a doctor and his patient, even before its begun.
I always feel my job is a blend between that of Ram Jethmalani's and Sherlock Holmes. Just as a lawyer would, I need to know my patients well. I need to understand not only their medical problems but also understand their social pressures, their economic status and guage their desperation in order to correctly devise the right treatment. I need to make sure they are comfortable with me and trust me with their innermost feelings and secrets. This is why I like to spend atleast an hour with new consults. I actually look forward to them. Maybe I like meeting new people. Maybe its my hidden desire to be Sherlock Holmes that fuels it :)
Going through endless past prescriptions and reports, its quite thrilling to be able to piece together a past in synopsis. I frequently tell patients that my job is to find dirt where earlier you thought there was none. To be able to put forward a list of probable reasons for the problem, devise a possible solution and act upon it to see it one day bear fruits, I think, is one of the greatest joys that this profession or for that matter any profession could give me. As an Obstetrician I experience joy only when I help a mother give birth but as an Infertility Specialist, I enjoy this moment twice over. Believe me there's nothing like a phone call early in the morning saying 'Doc, its positive !'
Moving back to my topic, my advise to all couples walking this painful path, do not hesitate to discuss EVERYTHING with your doctor at the first visit. Remember if you feel you cant open up for any reason or fear, you're probably in the wrong hands.
3 comments:
Hello Dr. Rajeev,
I was deeply moved reading your blog and I agree with you that an infertility specialist definitely requires lot of compassion and loads of passion towards their work. Honesty, sincerity and a deep sense of morality are a must for any IVF specialist. I agree with you that if you are deeply passionate in finding a solution to your patients( I hate that word) problems, then at the end of the day you are satisfied that whatever be the outcome you tried your best. Being in this special field, made me realise that we are just tools in the hands of God, but we have the power to utilise that tool in a sensible way.
I am so happy to note that there are people who share the same passion for work. Often I wonder how the "blessed"couples who have no problem in conceiving doesnt realise their good fortune and involve themselves in committing crimes against their children.
Dr. Rajeev, keep up the good blog and encourage people like me to give our best and to strive hard for making smiles on our patients faces.
Thank you Shabana for that wonderful post. I totally agree with what you have written. This line of work requires selfless dedication as the financial returns are also not comparable to the amount of efforts you put in. But when I stand in the lab and watch you embryologists do such wonderful work creating life and when i see that smile on a successful patient's face, it all seems worth it.
FOR THE SAKE OF READERS, SHABANA SAYED HAILS FROM KERALA AND IS NOW BRINGING TO LIFE HUNDREDS OF BABIES AS AN EMBRYOLOGIST IN KUWAIT. HER PROFILE CAN BE SEEN IN ORKUT.
Hi Dr Rajeev,
I, as a paitent, have a different view point. As heard in some of the old hindi movies "doctor aur lawyer se kuch chupa na nahi chaiye". Not always, we are not willing to share information, but sometimes, Doctors are often bored of meeting paitent with around same "problems". Come on.. Doctors too are human being and they have their limitation in terms of listening, they do get tired, they can get emotional, they too can have a bad mood once in a while. At times, we (paitents) may forget to ask or provide some details. Its usually happens with me and so I write my questions for Doctor on piece of paper (sometimes I forget the paper at home). So not everytime, the "first meeting" is sucessful in digging details, but its the pioneering step in building relationship. I get confidence in the Doctor, when the Doctor is still answers my stupid queries, or says upfront "m busy, please call me later"...etc.
Irony of life.. few days back, I read about a lady in UK killing her two year old daughter by beating with belt, smashing her head against wall and then putting her face under water.. and people like me, who pray everyday to have a kid someday. Ask us, who really long for a kid, how much emotional pain is to go thru artificial means and people who have kids natrually fail to appreciate this blessing of god.
Me and hubby will be going through ICSI in near months, hoping to see my kid someday and praying for all those who have or going to have kids someday...
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